He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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