proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
