I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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