is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
bring money and cleavage
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize