Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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