but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
