i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
we should paint friendship bongs
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
