I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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