I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Farmville is her only friend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
