My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
