Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
