he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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