Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
