This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I believe in your delicious
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
