My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize