You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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