i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize