Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
