If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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