In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Randomize
