I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i will never coherently bang her
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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