I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am naked and annoyed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
