Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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