if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
