The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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