And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize