I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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