im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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