im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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