i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
