I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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