My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
