Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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