sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
never play flip cup with pint glasses
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
