when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
