...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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