i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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