what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize