Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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