Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
