i just had sex bonerless
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
