she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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