Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
