yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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