you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
