hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
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