A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
