i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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