I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
