Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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