Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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