remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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