Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
