Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize