I must be too annoying 4 u.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
