At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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