I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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