I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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