I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
