My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why didn't you poke me back
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
