Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
