Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My ATM looks so different sober.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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