i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
